I'm pretty open about my sexuality. But after telling someone that I'm bisexual, occasionally I'll hear something like, "But you don't look like a lesbian!" or worse, "But you're too pretty to be with a girl."
First of all, I'm not a lesbian. I am bisexual. Bisexual people face exclusion by both the heterosexual and homosexual communities, and some people even think we don't exist. People think we're lying, or that we're experimenting, or that "it's just a phase" we go through. But in fact, it's just a way to exoticise us. To marginalize us. Because until our lived experiences are "verified" by heterosexual or homosexual people, we will never be taken seriously.
And so bisexuality is erased. When Tom Daley, a famous Olympic diver, came out in 2013 via this youtube video, the media immediately pounced on him. "TOM DALEY COMES OUT AS GAY." When in fact, Daley never used the word "gay" in his coming out video. He never even used the word "bisexual." He chose not to label his sexuality, but the media did. And the media labeled his sexuality in the wrong way. Daley isn't gay - he specifically stated in his video, "Of course I still fancy girls. But, I mean, right now I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier." The same happened with singer Frank Ocean when he came out in 2011. People thought rapper Azealia Banks was just craving attention when she came out as bisexual.
Boom. Bisexual erasure. When boys are bisexual, they just haven't come to terms with being gay yet. When girls are bisexual, they are just craving attention. And furthermore, when a bisexual person marries someone of the opposite gender, suddenly they aren't bisexual anymore, as if their bisexuality was just a phase.
And so bisexuality is erased. When Tom Daley, a famous Olympic diver, came out in 2013 via this youtube video, the media immediately pounced on him. "TOM DALEY COMES OUT AS GAY." When in fact, Daley never used the word "gay" in his coming out video. He never even used the word "bisexual." He chose not to label his sexuality, but the media did. And the media labeled his sexuality in the wrong way. Daley isn't gay - he specifically stated in his video, "Of course I still fancy girls. But, I mean, right now I’m dating a guy and I couldn’t be happier." The same happened with singer Frank Ocean when he came out in 2011. People thought rapper Azealia Banks was just craving attention when she came out as bisexual.
Boom. Bisexual erasure. When boys are bisexual, they just haven't come to terms with being gay yet. When girls are bisexual, they are just craving attention. And furthermore, when a bisexual person marries someone of the opposite gender, suddenly they aren't bisexual anymore, as if their bisexuality was just a phase.